Friday, October 21, 2005

Today I Feel Lucky

Amidst these hurricanes that keep coming and going, destroying lives and cities in this amazing country, I feel lucky I live inland! Wilma and Stan and their many friends have recently been creating havock along the coasts, and I havent contributed a centavo to any charity for the cause. Instead, I have been pondering on the nature of time once again. I am lucky to be here, to be alive and well, and yet I find myself missing home, missing the college, missing my friends and everything I dont have here with me. So many times I have decided to live in this moment, enjoying it and exhausting it until the next moment is available. I can never manage to keep to this decision.

Recently, I have been exploring the city, going shopping for hair pins in fancy malls, drinking cappuchinos in restaurants, sleeping and eating a lot, and dreaming about being a university student. I have spent far too much money on things like yoghurt, juice and coffee, and gained weight. When everything in my life changes (like what has happened recently) I resort to eating chocolate and donuts. From this day onwards I have decided to resort to meditation and courage instead (=started a diet).

Of course I have been working as well, too much, I would say. At the moment I am pretty much tired with noise and attention-seeking pre-pubescent boys. Alejandro is coming to Puebla this weekend to waste his first pay check on taking me out to eat in veggie restaurants, and ths I will have a few days off and a friend to spend those days with! What could be better!

Puebla is amazingly beautiful, full of culture and beatiful people.(hehe, I recommend that single European girls seeking men who can dance and smell good to come here right away!) So far I havent been lucky with establishing contacts with people who smell good and are of my age: I have to admit I have made no effort what-so-ever - I spend all my time working! What else? I am happy, happier every day in my own simple room with a bed and my mess, with my daily bread and loud children who harrass me sexually. I am still on the way to discovering what life is all about, marvelled by the passing of time, feeling lucky to have 10 pesos to use the internet. Take care all of you, I retire now, Tiina

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Unpublished Material (a bit old)

I arrived here in the beautiful city of Puebla, the city of churches and volcanoes, a few days ago. These few days I have spent here working, or learning to work, have been demanding, full of surprises, and full of ups and downs. We travelled with Alejandro from Acapulco to Puebla by bus (Alberto had left Acapulco earlier). We arrived here and my first reaction when we reached the outskirts was "not another city that looks like all other Mexican cities!"(I guess the phenomenon of cities in one country looking all like one another is not Mexican). We managed to get to the centre (without Ale I would have gotten lost even though people are very helpful) and I realised that people dont call Puebla beautiful and unique without reason. The centre is rather European-like (European=beautiful?) , full of colourful houses, cafes, parks, small shops. The architecture is the reason for Puebla´s fame. Everyone - come here and visit! I was picked up at the bus station by my contact person Karla, who works in the office of Hogares Calasanz. I find her very nice, she is young and enthusiastic and made me feel very welcome. Took a taxi to come here to Colonia San Baltazar Campeche, which is about 20-30 minutes from the centre. The area is like a small "pueblito", a village full of not-so-rich, but nice!, Mexicans. I was welcomed at the hogar, the house of the little kids, by Angelica, who is the responsable of the house of the biggest boys, between 14-18 yrs. "My boys" are between 8-11. The boys were playing computer games on computers donated by Volkswagen when I came. They were a bit curious, but didnt bother to quit playing to introduce themselves;) (they love the games). I was taken to my room, a room on the roof, with chicken accross the wall on the outside:D (sometimes they enter my room and poopoo on the floor!). My room has a bed and a table, and I cant close one of the doors. Well, I dont mind, who needs more than a bed to survive? I dont really ( well I need chocolate, which I just bought to cater for one week´s needs). The tía, the auntie responsable of the house, is called Conchita, and even though she intimidated me in the start, seems like the right person to help these boys learn about life. She is tough, plays football so much better than me or many of the boys, is a psychologist, and an ex-nun. The Padre Rosalio, who is in charge of the organisation, intimidated me a bit in the beginning as well - i couldnt help thinking about all the scandals of Catholic priests molesting small boys when I saw him kissing the kids! :D Well, after talking to him for hours about the organisation, its strategy, its purpose and his own views, I am convinced he is doing nothing but good to these kids picked up from the streets, from broken families, etc. He gives them love, which is the primary purpose of this organisation. Love that says " We accept you as you are and will support you and help you if you want us to". The entire staff of the organisation is extremely helpful, devoted, welcoming and funny. At the moment it almost seems perfect, because it could have been SO much worse! The kids.. Where can I start?! Miguel x 2, Juan, Pedro, Antonio, Gonzalo, Alejandro, Ricardo, Modesto and (who did I forget?) I cant remember now and thinking costs in an internet cafe, are all personalitites! With big weaknesses and big strengths. Some secretly sit on the roof reading the bible, some openly love singing to the tunes of annoying Mexican pop songs. Some look so funny you cannot help loving them, some are quiet and want you to read poems with them. They ask you if you come from "Pinguilandia" and if you there are cars and mobile phones there. One loves chickens but forgets to feed them. Many of them like hitting, not doing homework, not bathing. That is where the adults come along. They get tutoring from two teachers, have the Father to love them and to take them to cut grass and cultivate plants in the country side, they have the responsable adult Conchita to scold them and to clean the house with them and tiá Reina to cook for them. All the kids are very mature in the way that they clean, well, not so well always, they heat their food and do a lot of things without adults telling them so. they can spend long times without adult supervision and keep the house together. I have been surprised by the kids many times, they are great and have great potential. Many times I feel like crying. i dont know if it is because I miss home, granny, my friends and people from the college, or if it is just because everything is new and a bit scary and because I have my period... to console my soul, I eat chocolate, which was actually a gift to the kids( i realised I need it more, they have enough food;) ). I read and try to rest a lot and eat well, and talk to the adults in the house. I try to be positive, and most of the time it works. i try to find things to do to keep myself occupied. Yet, I really miss home! I miss the organisation, people of my own age to talk to, I miss the simplicity of things! This is my challenge, and I will stay here until the end and not return early like my granny hopes. Well, that is all for today. i will try to write often to keep in touch and to keep sane. P.S. I was introduced to the community in a mass on Sunday as the "good atheist" :D The question of religion seems to interest people here - how can one not believe in the catholic god. Well, they respect me, even though they think I must be a bit uneducated not to believe. Love you all, who bother to read this! I am inspired by this place, I will tell you more later! Tintiina