The Finishing Touch

So, Dr.Phil is over now, and I can finally finish my travel summary.

From Palenque we teletransported ourselves to Quintana Roo.
The rain clouds followed us and we tried to escape.
Beaches with rain are not good.
Got sick, found no cheap places to stay.
Ended up overnighting in a tent in stormy weather.
Wanted to fly away with the wind.

Stayed nowhere for more than a day.
Americanised paradise.
Ciudad del Carmen was the first place to feel like home.
Stayed there, walked on its modern avenues.
Hearing English all over.
Islands, Cancun's two worlds.
Hurricane-damaged traces of luxury.

From Cancun and anxiety to get away to Merida and will to stay.
Streets like in Puebla, friendly people, sombreros and the Mayan empire.
Carnavals all over. People of all races and roots and traditions blended together
into the Mexican chaos and noise.
Ice cream and reality tv on cable tv.
Cheap places to stay, food to eat and some universal love.

The Pemex City, the petroleum city, Carmen.
Finally a free place to stay with some family.
The sea was "not affected by the petroleum industry" and
appartently housed some dolphins we never saw.
Yet, it was darker than Mexico City's tap water, with dead fish on its waves.
American cars, American music, American this and that.
I just wanted Mexico.

Photos!

Here are some of the many photos I never managed to publish before. Some are from Mexico City, some from my working place, etc.

Shit, I'm Home!

Dear Readers (I think you are quite few at this point),

I returned to Finland just a few days ago. The culture shock I have experienced now in Finland has been greater than the one I had in Mexico. Who knows what that is supposed to mean - Did I love being in Mexico so much that I should have stayed? Is Finland as extreme in every aspect as Mexico is? Seeing drunken Finns on the public transport freezing to death for not having any warm clothes to wear was not the most pleasant start. But, I still felt a nice warmth inside me for returning Home. Home. Do I even have a home anymore? My home is where my heart is: all over!

But what happened during the month I spent travelling before returning to Finland?(I am not really dying to write a thorough explanation - a lot happened) But, Do let me try:

We started off in Oaxaca, the capital of the state of Oaxaca (Mexican imagination)
I got a stomach ache, vomited on the street,
payed too much for a hotel,
saw the Monte Alban Ruins,
Enjoyed the smell of hot chocolate, the sound of indigenous languages all over,
old streets, old women with their long, black hair tied with colourful ribbons,
Headed towards the coast.

Puerto Escondido,
American surfer-boys taking over the beaches every morning and every night,
the waves hit the shore and I thought,
"Here only the waves and the blue sky matter."
At nights smelled the tropical flowers, thought the people had to be happy -
they have it all: the sun, the sky, the sea, the sand, each other.
And again, we had to move on.

Huatulco does not deserve too many lines.
Expensive taxis, boring views,
too Americanised.
Took a boat tour around beaches, they didn't even let us Go on the beach, we just saw them.

Tuxtla Gutierrez, the state of Chiapas. Felt sick again. Nothing.
Chiapa de Corzo, a few minutes away: saw the canyon of Sumidero.
We took a boat ride to the canyon and saw monkeys, crocodiles and a lot of different birds.
The animal life was interesting, but the way we were introduced to it wasn't.
We took off to San Cristobal de las Casas.

I expected a lot from San Cristobal - it is in the Zapatista zone, with a biiig indigenous minority and with load of cultures and cultural heritage. It met my expectations. I almost fainted at the sight of all the handucrafts - the small, indigenous tzotzil and tzeltal women selling their hands' work with children in the laps and their traditional dressed stained by the Chiapas soil.
Met interesting people, walked on old, tranquil streets and visited surrounding villages. Mysticism was in the air and the history became the present.

From there we headed to Palenque.
The place is famous for two things: two cascades and the famous pyramids.
We failed to visit both.
Went to two ruins in the Lacandon Jungle instead.
Again, got disappointed by the lack of guiding.
Wondered around in both places.
Enjoyed the rain and the freezing wind,
finding out that it actually does get cold in the jungle.
The monkeys shouted at us,
the birds flew away once they saw us.
I felt like an intruder in the jungle world.
My shoes got wet and I got sick again.

------------

To be continued. It's Dr. Phil-on-tv-time.

One More Apple In the Basket

I packed my backpack, said bye and closed the door of 438 Guadalupe Victoria behind me for the last time. It was easier than I had thought. Feeling tired and happy at the same time I took a microbus to the bus station.

Now I am in Mexico City. Went to bed at five in the morning after more than 24 hours of mingling with UWC applicants and Mexican ex-students and thereafter taking decisions on who is eliminated and who can continue in the application process. I enjoyed it all, but at 3 am I could not care less who is eliminated and who not. Our discussion was an experiment on what sleep deprivation turns intelligent, young people into madly laughing, conflictive, mindless adolescents, who cannot take the simplest decision. Unforgettable moments of madness!

Tomorrow I will be in the beautiful City of Oaxaca buying handycrafts and chocolate. Two days after that, on the beaches of Oaxaca, sleeping in a hammock, listening to the waves of the Pacific ocean. Life is like a wave with highs and lows.

Keeping in touch, Tiina

Becoming a Buddhist

Last night, lying in my bed shivering because of the freezing wind that intruded into my room through the walls and the doors, I almost cried because life is so beautiful.

I am in Mexico, more or less alone amongst the 100 million strange Mexicans, working in a street kid home where they do not really need me, trying to avoid the kids a lot of times because they are so energetic they make me feel like a tired old woman, sleeping 12 h a night, eating and happily growing the fat reserves in my muscleless body, but still feeling very happy. I have an innate feeling of luck and happiness that follow me whereever I go, in my ups and downs. I feel so lucky!

In Mexico City, I walked by a street dog in the biggest religious site dedicated to Virgin Mary - the dog lay there, in the middle of thousands of people passing by, sleeping calmly on the pavement. What a sight of inner peace, tranquility, happiness.. The black, dirty, old dog moced me, dont you dare laugh you readers out there! Similarly, I have fallen in love with many street dogs who dont ask for anything, who just enjoy sniffing and poo-pooing on the streets. I

have also fallen in love with the kids I work with. They are crazy, insane, but cute like hell. Now that I know them and understand them a lot better, I appreciate them. They have taught me a loooot of things without them knowing it. I will tell it to them once I say goodbye (in 3 weeks!)

In 3 weeks I will start my extensive Mexico Adventure Tour consisting of deserted beaches, tequila, sleeping in a tent in the wilderness, touring all the southern Mexican states. Alejandro promised to come along, but who knows if the pendejo (a local, lovable word for a bastard) will have money or not. I want to see sea turtles and Chiapas and its indigenous villages, jungle, endless autopistas, sunshine and moonlit waves of the Pacific and the Carribbean sea. Aaaah.... I have so many plans and so little time...

Life is an Adventure Tour, depends on you how much you decide to enjoy it. At the moment, in all my ups and downs, I love life. Shit, its the only one I have, and a good one!
With Love and Peace of Mind, Tiina

XMas Greetings

I added some photos - hope you readers enjoy them. They might give a better Picture of what I am doing and where I am. Spent a quiet, nice and warm Xmas with Alejandro eating chocolate and listening to classical music. Went for walks in the streets of the metropolis - finally found the well-hidden beauty of Mexico City walking on its abandoned streets and avenues on Christmas Day. No pollution because of no cars, no people, no noise, no thiefs, only its beautiful buildings and 25 degrees of winter warmth. Got no presents, was far away from my family and almost cried when called home. Missed Finland, its -25 degrees and snow, friends, granny, family and friends. Xmas is just another date on the calender without people who you love.... Well, happy Xmas, even though a bit late, to all you out there!

A Late Update from Amidst Ghosts

Dear Readers,My life consists of waking up late, taking a boiling shower if I happend to feel like it, teaching two chimpanees some Spanish and math - the alphabet and numbers 1-20, eating, scolding kids and sleeping.

Why are these kids so seemingly simple but deep down so complicated? I had a serious crisis yesterday with one of them. He has problems, serious ones, at school - third grade, doesnt read well, hardly writes, doesnt know how to write five-hundred in numbers. I had to help him with his math once again. Nothing went as planned, but all went as I expected from previous experience - he insulted me, called me the Fucking Blond (in incorrect Spanish), threatened to kill me there and then, etc. All because he is racist because he doesnt understand why there are people of different colour in the world, because he felt inadequate, sad and insecure. He didnt want to ask for help but needed it badly. So many justifications for his actions, and the only thing I could do while he was shouting at me for 3 hours was to try to understand.

I enjoy situations like the one mentioned above because they are real challenges for me. They measure very effectively whether I have patience enough to respect others and myself in difficult times. They show me the side of myself that I seldom see - the angry tiina. At the same time they pose questions that I have to ponder - am I in the right place, doing the right thing, interacting with the kids in the appropriate way?

At the moment I feel I am at a turning point. I can do whatever I feel is right, i have very little obligations here at this moment. I just have to listen to myself very well. At times it hurts. These kids are not individuals unattached from their environment, this country and its history. Instead, they are products of this factory of human beings called the Mexican society. They have seen its dark side: maybe they were born to a mother who wasnt able to take care of them, they were born because abortions are illegal, and because people are uneducated about the use of contraceptives, and live in poverty. They think the way they think because of the programmes they show on TV here, because the education is what it is, etc. They are sceptical about me because they are racists, very aware of the racist nature of the society here.
They indeed are complicated, and the most rewarding part of my work here is learning to understand what goes on in their small heads. I am fascinated by the psychology of these kids, to put it shortly.

The more personal part of my stay here is also causing me head aches. I have thought a lot about love. I have loved so many people during my life! I have received so much love! Yet, I feel like I am running out of energy to love because my heart is dispersed around the world - bits of it are in Norway, many in Finland and even more around the world in the pockets of people who I once loved and continue loving. It is painful not to be around people you truly appreciate and love and miss. This realisation has made me want to slow down and more importantly settle down somewhere where I know there are people i love. The world reflects my actions. If I smile more the world will smile back. A person told me I have stopped smiling, that I have become more serious than before. The comment worries me - I will try to work on smiling more.